aasin (aasin) wrote in the1st100words,

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An epic I wrote

Well this is something I wrote for my English class. It is a mock epic so it is supposed to be funny and I got a good grade on it so I would like to see your thoughts on it. I don't know if this is the first 100 words. If it is more than forgive me for my computer only has notepad and I don't know how to check to see how many words are in it. Enjoy!

He awoke from his kingdom of treasure. Treasure others had long ago discarded for they had no Use for such things. These selfish humans who took their lives for granted and viewed Themselves above all else. Never understanding what they truly had. Every day they would Throw their treasures in metal wells and each time he would come, scavenging through their Treasures and taking what he pleased. None ever complained for they were too repulsed by his Aesthetic apparel yet lustful odor. Indeed it can be said that all looked unfavorably upon Che, With his treasure filled in hefty bags carried along by his mighty carriage he had obtained from The mighty storage halls of Pathmark.

When he finished his search for unwanted treasure, he would return to his kingdom for none Dared enter it. It was well hidden in a building long ago abandoned by it’s predecessors for Reasons unknown. Che knew that snooping eyes would never even dare venture by his kingdom For it was protected by the fiends. These fiends were once ordinary mortals but they had turned To the devil’s fruit. This fruit however, being in the disguise of a potent hard crystalline broken Into small pieces in which the fiends were fond of ingesting by smoke. Lucifer had repeatedly Attempted to entice Che with his fruits but Che was of quick wit and never dared even to touch One. Occasionally a fiend would attempt to steal Che’s treasure and a few even went Undiscovered, but the fiends understood that the price was too great if they were discovered for Che would break their pipe, which fiends needed to use in order to have the devil’s fruit and they Would quickly suffer withdrawal which drove many to insanity. For these reasons, no fiends Ever tried to steal the treasure.
While they were no longer human, Che still spoke to the fiends as such even though Yahweh Waited yet for their repentance. While conversing with them, a fiend inquired of his past:
“You are not like us who enjoy the company of Lucifer daily, tell us why do you choose to live Amongst us? Surely your previous life was not so superb as it is today with your ever growing Collection of treasure that, if you had not taken, would be given to the dumps on the great seas. Where they quench the greedy mouths of the seagulls who would sell their own kin, just to get a Piece of bread?”

And to this Che replied:
“Ah my past! It is something in which I wish forever to forget. I was born out of a dead stork’s Mouth. My father, being of noble birth from a long line of soldiers bearing wings of information For all ears, was ashamed of me seeing that I was a bastard and had ruined his nobility. I was Punished regularly by such things as a spank or the leather snake which bit me on my back for Even the most trivial of mistakes. At the age of fifteen my malice grew uncontrolled. On a night In which he had his tea, I poured poison into it. He fell to the floor. A fish thrashing out of the Water. The fish eventually suffocated and I had my revenge. Knowing that the filthy pigs Would soon link me to it, I fled the empire and entered this one where none knew of me and I Could begin anew. I cared little for getting the green papers which everyone itches for and so I Began creating my kingdom. My reasons for living here is the fact that all loathe you fiends and I can remain free from annoyance by adolescent demons who enjoy hassling me and laying Waste to my carriage. For then I must abandon my treasures to the four legged giant monsters Who eat my treasure with the aid of two men who throw it into the monster’s mouth.”

And to this the fiends were content with his story. So life continued for Che unchanged until one Day in the rising shadows he unearthed in a particularly putrid metal well a poster. This was no Ordinary poster for fate must have intertwined their meeting. Che was fascinated by it’s beauty, Made of pure maple trees and brought into existence by the experienced hands of a Mexican Sweatshop blacksmith. Che quickly grabbed it and glanced at the charming figure in which it Showed. The man was a famous king. Some called him the king of pop. Indeed Michael Jackson is the king of pop and none shall ever challenge his reign for he has the gods on his side Who entitle him to little angels to protect him and provide him with all he wishes of them.
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