Stormfairy (stormfairy) wrote in the1st100words,

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First 100 words (well, 113) of "The Girl Who Knew"

Hello there. I'd appreciate some critics for the beginning of a short story, titled "The Girl Who Knew", about a girl who sees her own future, and has known her entire life when and how she will die. It takes place during that last day of hers. I'd call it urban fantasy, but I don't know if that's strictly correct.

I'll be most thrilled over anyone who finds some constructive flaw with this, as I have enough people telling me rather unhelpfully that "yeah, it's good". Anyway, here we go.



The Girl Who Knew

That morning I took a shower, not that it did me much good. It did not make me prettier, it did not make me slimmer, it did not improve my grades, and it certainly did not keep me alive.

I chewed and swallowed a breakfast, generous amounts of strawberry jam and butter on my favourite bread in blatant rebellion against any and all diet, but it tasted of nothing but the bile rising in my throat. My lips were dry no matter how much lip balm I applied, how many times I tried to moist them with a tongue from my equally dry mouth, and I ended up forgetting to comb my hair.
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